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Shame may be transmitted indirectly by a parent's attitude toward life and teach shame to children. Children may feel shame for their parent's problems. Emotional enmeshment occurs when a child learns to experience a parent's feelings with the parent or for that parent. Enmeshment is a parasitic connection in which one person depends on another's feelings. This transmittal of shame is like an inherited physical ailment passed from one generation to another.
Family secrets can produce shame. Dysfunctional families frequently have a secret. The secret may be Mom's drinking problem. It may be Dad's sexual behavior. The secret may be that Dad beats Mom. Children who live in a dysfunctional family are enlisted to help keep the secret. Abuse creates shame. An abused child feels powerless. Abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, or even spiritual. No opportunity to resolve traumatic events creates shame. In the dysfunctional family major painful events occur with no follow-up or discussion. The family has a no-talk rule. A failure to validate needs and feelings leads to shame.
Some adults and children have shame-based identities because
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they want to hide who they are. This shame causes people to live in fear of being known for who they are. They may find that certain emotions or events trigger shame. If you were shamed for having a particular feeling as a child, the shame may return each time you experience that feeling. Shame sends messages and many of them have negative consequences.
Talking about shame begins the healing process. Find someone else who cares, somebody else you can trust; and tell your story. Caring people who have experienced similar pain can help you recognize your denial. As you tell the story and as people listen, the hurt at first may feel more intense; but soon it begins to recede. You discover that you are not alone. You are not the only person in the world who has felt this shame.
Spiritual cleansing is essential to win over shame. The key is to bring all your shame to the feet of the Lord and to ask His help: "God, I ask You to deal with my shame. I want You to take it. I need healing." (Psalm 25:3) "No one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame." U
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Rev. Tony Smith is the Area Director for the Southern Baptist Association of Guam and pastor of Marianas Baptist Church
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Bible Study by Juanita Simpson
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Sermon on the Mount
Part 2
Matt. 5:17-20
Picture Jesus preaching this sermon to His disciples with the crowds gathered. He is establishing a whole new order or New Testament. He says...."I have come". In the remainder of chapter 5 He says, "I tell you" 9 times. Jesus is letting us know
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that HE is the new authority.
Does this mean that He is doing away with the Old Testament and its laws? No! Because He says, "I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." How?
....His life fulfills all the prophecies of the coming Messiah, from Gen. 3:15 to Mal. 3:1.
....His sacrificial death is the
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fulfillment of the whole sacrificial system outlined in Leviticus, the one sufficient sacrifice for all time - Heb. 10:11-14
....He is the eternal High Priest, interceding for us - Heb. 7:23-28.
So we see that Jesus came to fulfill the Law because "the Law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming - not the realities themselves". (Heb. 10:1)
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